Your Call is Very Important to Us

That’s what the recorded voice told me when I answered the phone today.

“Hello?”

“Your call is very important to us.  Please stay on the line.” 

During the 10 seconds of music that followed, I was thinking, “How important could my call be?  I didn’t make a call.”

“Your call is very important to us.  Please stay on the line.” 

During the next 10 seconds of music that followed, I was thinking, “This better be *$%!ing good.” 

Who the hell is Brooks Kern?

“Your call is very impor…  Hello?  Is this Brooks Kern?”

We have been getting a fair amount of mail and phone calls for Brooks Kern.  We have no idea who he is.  We don’t want to know who he is.  We just want him to go away.

“No, this is not Brooks Kern.  But we get lots of calls for Brooks Kern, and mail for Brooks Kern, and if you find Brooks Kern, please tell him I said to go…”

“Thank you for your time, sir.  We will take your number off our list.”  (Click.)

“But wait!  Your computer said the call I didn’t make was important to you!”

Damn you, Brooks Kern.  Whoever you are, damn you!

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About Gerry

I've been covering Connecticut news and sports since 1974. I know, I don't look that old.
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11 Responses to Your Call is Very Important to Us

  1. Jim says:

    Yes….yes this is Brooks Kern and I’ve been waiting for this call….everything is in place, leave the number where I can contact you…..

  2. Jim says:

    We’re both in trouble now

  3. Mary says:

    First off, you’re a better person than I, when I answer the phone and a real human isn’t on the other end, the receiver is replace firmly. It takes a long chain of command to have your number removed, good luck with that.

  4. NickF says:

    I love these calls. I got one on my cellphone from a courthouse in New Jersey looking for a person that apparently was supposed to be in court and gave them a false phone number (mine)

  5. richb says:

    I’ve been getting a few calls for Wilfredo Hernandez from a collection agency on my cell. When I called them back at the number they left to explain I was not Mr. Hernandez they implied that THEY KNEW I was Wilfredo (how I don’t know)and when was I going to “take charge of my debt?” I might just have a little fun with this one if they call again.

  6. Jeff says:

    I’m sure Brooks must know M. Jeffries who seems to share my address and phone number. I even have a whole slew of pre-approved credit card offers for the guy.

    We’ve all heard of identity theft . . . perhaps identity bequeathment will be the new trend?

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