I Hate This Kid

No, I don’t.  Yes, I do.  No, really, I don’t.  You bet your dupa I do.

His name is Brad Dalke.  He’s 12.  The little rat bastard talented young golfer just verbally committed to play at Oklahoma.   


Master Dalke

He’s in 7th grade.  And he’s not so little.  Five-foot-eight, 175-pounds.  This son of a bitch strapping young lad pounds the ball 280 yards off the tee.

This little sh*t future star from Texas just shot back-to-back-to-back 68s to win a national tournament in Pinehurst, NC.  I, on the other hand, might would be willing to forfeit a gonad to break 80.  Just once.

Young Brad will graduate with the Oklahoma class of 2020.  But of course, he won’t play the full four years.  He’ll leave after a couple of years, turn pro, make millions, win majors, marry a Swedish nanny, and…

I’ll still be trying to break 80.


About Gerry

I've been covering Connecticut news and sports since 1974. I know, I don't look that old.
This entry was posted in Diatribes, It's all about me, Noticed, People, Sports and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to I Hate This Kid

  1. Wendy says:

    I’m gasping for air after reading this…laughed so hard I nearly spewed coffee on my keyboard. YOU would have had to purchase a new one for me! You’re right, though, about leaving in 2 years to go pro, etc., etc., etc.!!! I can’t wait to hear when you break 80! It’ll be the lead story on the news, I’m sure.

  2. Mary says:

    Easy Gerry, you’re going to have a heart attack, it’s not like your 12 years old anymore. Maybe you could be his caddy 🙂 Never say never I’m sure you’ll break 80, before you turn 80.

  3. This was hysterical, Gerry!
    Actually, I recall you as quite a good golfer- especially compared to me.

    But don’t worry…in what will seem like just a few years, you’ll break 80.
    My father-in-law did it a while back and now he can shoot his age.

  4. Steve says:

    Look on the bright side. Shortly you will be able to take advantage of Senior Discount greens fees and everybody will be suspect of any score you blurt out. 79’s, I predict, will become routine.

  5. T Bone says:

    can you say john daly in the making? 5 feet 8 and 175 lbs and only 12?
    Either clemens has been injecting him or this kid lives at mcdonald’s…

  6. G.M.Duclos says:

    I think it’s the belt buckle. I’m going out today to buy one.

  7. Li'l Em-Kel says:

    You got it all wrong, man. If you regard (as you should) your score as only a minor component of the entire socio-psycho-eco-cosmic golf experience, then you would surely consider yourself (as I, and others, consider you) the freakin’ Bobby Jones of Hebron.

    • Gerry says:

      I see you got your hands on a computer. Wish I played better, but had a great time. Hope you had several for me.

      To all: played golf with Li’l Em today. The man’s a playah!

  8. Brad Dalke says:

    Anytime you want to meet and play — I’m game! Seriously! My family enjoyed your article.

    • Gerry says:

      Ha! Brad, I’m happy and flattered you and your family saw the humor in this post.
      Enjoy your school years, and I hope you have a great career. Remember me when someday you’re playing in the Travelers Championship, and an old man asks if you remember this. By then, I’ll have broken 80.
      Best of luck, and go Soomers!

  9. Brad Dalke says:

    Gerry – I am working hard and I won an AJGA Invitational. Check out AJGA.org and go to
    Thunderbird. Also – check out the articles on Golfweek.com in Junior section. Don’t you live on the east coast? We are in North Carolina right now getting ready to play in the AJGA Footjoy Invitational. Come on out!!!

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