So I’m standing there, waiting to read the headlines for the 5:30 news, when I see this story rolling in the teleprompter. I wanted to laugh out loud.
ROCKER OZZY OSBOURNE IS A SPECIMEN SCIENTISTS CAN’T WAIT TO GET THEIR HANDS ON. THEY WANT TO KNOW HOW HE’S LIVED THIS LONG AFTER SO MANY YEARS OF DRUG ABUSE. OSBOURNE WILL REPORTEDLY HAVE HIS ENTIRE GENETIC CODE MAPPED. A BRITISH T-V NETWORK SAYS A COMPANY IN CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS WILL SCAN OSBOURNE’S D-N-A IN AN ATTEMPT TO FIGURE OUT HOW DRUGS ARE ABSORBED IN THE BODY.
Maybe these researchers should live the life themselves to find out. All in the name of science, of course.