Ritual Revisited

My wife and I visited our friend Andy today.  As we do every year, we came bearing two gifts:  a golf ball and a wee nip of scotch.

I push the ball into the ground in front of Andy’s grave, and my wife pours the scotch over his stone.  (Andy was a Dewar’s guy, but we were out, so he got Glenfiddich instead.)

There is a little parking area under a big old tree right by Andy’s grave.  But occupying that spot was a big old truck, and in that truck was the driver, taking a brief siesta, which we interrupted.

“Sorry about that.”

“No problem.  Hey…aren’t you?  You are!  You look different!”

“Well, that’s because I don’t wear a tee shirt and shorts to work.  I clean up well.”

“What are you doing?”

“That’s my golf partner there.”

(Looks at my wife.)  “Nice to meet you.  Play much?”

“No, not her.  There!”  (Pointing at the headstone.)

“Oh.”  (He watches us perform the golf ball/scotch ritual.)

That was nice.”

“We do it every year.  See ya.”

“See you at 6.”

“Thanks.  I’ll be wearing a suit.”


About Gerry

I've been covering Connecticut news and sports since 1974. I know, I don't look that old.
This entry was posted in It's all about me, People and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Ritual Revisited

  1. Kathryn D. says:

    That is a nice story. Thank you for sharing! 🙂

  2. Beckie says:

    I’m so glad we’re not the only ones that have our “rituals.” Every year on their birthdays, I bring my great-grandmother (who raised me) a cup of coffee and an elephant ear pastry (her favorites) and I bring my grandmother a chili dog and a cup of black coffee (her favorite lunch.)
    It’s always gone when I go back. I like to think the animals (squirels, wood chucks, etc) have a snack (and they loved watching the animals.) But I’m sure at times, well-meaning people have thought it was litter.

  3. richb says:

    Nice story. When the Sox won in 2004, I went to my dad’s grave with a Sox cap and two beers…one for him, one for me. I weighted down the cap on his headstone, cracked open the beers (too bad they weren’t Naragansetts) and toasted their win. I thanked him for instilling in me the life long love/hate affair I have with the Red Sox. When I went back in the Spring, the cap was still there, much worse for wear but still the link remained. Thank you for reminding me of that with your story today.

  4. Lady Mau says:

    Every morning on my way to work I pass a cemetery where 3 friends of mine are buried. I wave as I go by just to say hey. I often wondered if I was nuts but now I know there are others with rituals out there.

    Thanks Gerry…I’m not so nuts after all.

  5. EA says:

    I enjoyed that, Gerry. Thanks for sharing.

    (I’ll be honest… I was looking for the “like” buton… but realized that this isn’t Facebook.)

  6. Gerry says:

    Thank you all for your contributions!

  7. Thank you for making feel like I’m too crazy! One of my friend go with another friend to the cemetary to ‘visit’ another friend of ours and we would bring a ‘present’ and do a few shots of whatever. Taking the present we brought, we would hang it on the fir tree near his grave. Then we would sit down and down the shots.

    Normally this isn’t too bad, but we would do it at night. A few times there would be a green light coming from nowhere. Which would scare us so much we would end up running back to the car, yet we would do this on a ‘few’ holidays. Birthdays, holidays, anniversires.

  8. graham says:

    In Hawaii the tradition is for the family to take the deceased person’s favorite food to their grave and have a picnic. Some days you’ll see several families spread around the cemetery all at the same time.

  9. Mike says:


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