Are you feeling lucky, punk?
As seen on TV:
ON THE HEALTH WATCH… AMERICANS ARE LIVING LONGER.
THE NATIONAL CENTER FOR HEALTH STATISTICS SAYS AMERICANS LIVE TO AN AVERAGE AGE OF 77-YEARS AND 9-MONTHS.
MEN GENERALLY MAKE IT TO 75…WOMEN TO 80.
So what’s it gonna take to level the playing field?
The Brooks File 
Men need to give up beer and hard liquor and start buying cases of red wine. Red wine, a glass of which I am drinking righ now prolongs thinnnnndguy…
Arrrgghhhhh!!!!!!
I’m better now. Those damn pretzels. Wine and pretzels is going to take some getting used to. As is wearing these pedal pushers and this thong underwear. It’s all about trying to fool God into thinking I’m Teri. What some guys won’t do to add a few years to their lives.
Excuse me, I have to go wash out my brain with soap now.
Use Irish Spring at your peril.