They’re everywhere. I’ve seen them on the cover of every other magazine on the newsstand.
The promos for “Access Hollywood,” “Extra,” “Entertainment Tonight,” and the shows of that ilk promise to report on every damn move they make and every breath they take.
And now I know their names. Because on Friday night, Jon and Kate Gosselin invaded the newscast. I didn’t have to read the story, so I stepped into my invisible cone of silence for the 18 seconds we invested in them.
Aside from their names, I know they have a reality show and eight kids. That is all I know, and I don’t want to know more. My usual advice to people like me is, “If you don’t like it, change the station.” But how can you change the station when the TV’s not on and you still can’t escape?
Look at them. They look normal, don’t they? But they’re not. They can’t be. They’re “made for TV” celebrities.
God, please give me Sam and Diane…Ward and June…Furillo and Davenport… Kip and Henry.
But make these people go away. Please.