A month into the season, it has finally dawned on the New York Yankees that $2,500 is a bit much to ask for a “premium” seat to a baseball game. So they’ve slashed the price in half. $1,250. Such a deal. I’m sure that’ll put a bunch of premium tushes in the seats.
But I’ve got a better deal. Come to my place and watch the game with me. Just the two of us. (Three if the Dearly Beloved is home and has interest, which is highly unlikely.)
For just $1,000, you will get the best, most comfortable chair in the house. Double-wide with a hassock. True premium seating. I will also personally serve you hot and cold hors d’ouvres and top shelf beverages. That’s a $250 savings over schlepping to the stadium, and if you can’t drive home, I’ll call you a cab!
Too pricey? For $750, you still get that chair, and I will set out a nice variety of premium munch (mixed nuts, Cape Cod chips, etc.) and a cooler filled with bottles of the premium beer (domestic or imported) of your choice.
And for $500, you get a superior-quality well-padded straight-backed chair. I will set up a tray table for you, and supply freshly-popped microwave popcorn and cold cans of Bud.
In all cases, we’ll watch the game, talk baseball, and I’ll make believe we’re old buddies.
Hey, the 401k isn’t what it used to be. Times are tough, and creative people have to do creative things. Call me.